Entrepreneurship is taking a toll on my personal life! Should entrepreneurs sacrifice their personal lives?

[Aashikaa]

I and my husband are working in software firms, besides; we are working on our own dream project. We were inspired to become entrepreneurs for many reasons, and started to build a website. We are planning to launch our beta version in a month. Lately, I can notice a few drastic changes in my husband. He has devoted himself to the work 24/7. We barely talk anything apart from work! He ignores me and our personal relationship completely. I want a balance between our professional and personal lives. I fight with him for this and still he has not changed. We are married for a year now and I already feel I have lost my personal life! I now even think about leaving my dream of being an entrepreneur, get my husband do the same also…

I want you experienced entrepreneurs to help me in this regard. What impact would being an entrepreneur have on my personal life? Should we continue building our project or??? Please help…

Forgive me if any of the things I have mentioned above do bother anyone. Thank you.

[GrapevineDiscounts]

You said a mouthful and are not alone......Many start-ups encounter these same issues and is why most fail.

I have seen, first hand, with-in my own company as well as many many others around me, business become the only focus in life. Its a true lose lose situation if you don't play your cards right.

1. You lose if you don't focus on growing the business. Which sometimes means answering the phones during dinner (if you even get dinner) or working into the wee hours of the night (or is that morning?...After all, the sun is rising but you have not been to bed yet).

2. You lose if you don't focus on your family and the life you should have.

Believe it or not there is a balance. It IS OK to set guidelines and rules for yourself. It is OK to turn your phone off and enjoy dinner with the spouse and/or kids and it is OK to take a day off.....preferably Sunday.

Clients do understand and some want you to take this time for yourself. Think about it....in many cases, they can only work if you do.

[WealthCreator]

@GrapevideDiscounts that is so true what you are saying. I am an entrepreneur myself, and my wife is also involved. But I am lucky as I have a partner who is also my mentor and coach. He has a great relationship with his wife, and I learn from him. You need to take time out. This weekend I took my wife and her sister, with her kids for the weekend away. I did not answer my phone, I did not check my emails, I did not worry or think about the business.

It is important to divert your thoughts away from business, as it will help you to think more clearly and more productively about your business. You will become more productive.

In your case you should discuss this with your husband, and go to a destination where there is no mobile reception. Or make sure the thing is switched off. Laptops stay at home - tablets too! Mobile to be used for emergency only. Take at least 1 weekend off per month, and one holiday of at least 2 weeks per year. Spend time only with each other.

Be careful that the business does not enslave you! This is a time management thing, and because entrepreneurs are so passionate about their dreams, they tend to neglect their relationships. They do not realize that without these relationships, their businesses will not make it.

My business is a success, because of my relationship with my Wife. We are married for about 8 years now, and she is also involved in the business. She works in the business, and I work mostly on the business.

My business partner has the same arrangement. But he is happily married for 30 years now, and have several businesses. He has businesses which he spend less than 4 hours a year, and that is to check and sign the financials.

No one can advice you to stop, or to continue with your dream. Only you can. I know that it will not work if you neglect your relationships. We have an exercise, which we call the 'near death exercise' that we have entrepreneurs do during our Powermorphing™ workshops that immediately sets their priorities straight. I can unfortunately not repeat that exercise here as it will consume too much space in this post.

Hope this helps.

[rcthornt]

There should rightfully be balance in everything. The "Entrepreneurs worth 80 hours per week" is likely a myth anyway (most people I know, including entrepreneurs, spend a great portion of their work time goofing off anyway)... Read some answers on Quora about this.

[YAGOOFT]

Agreed,

This is what we entrepreneurs call sacrifice, and everyone has to go through this stage if you are committed to acheiving your dreams of success in your own business. It is not easy, but well worth it when you finally hit the top. There are no short cuts, so don't give up, you will look back on this point in your lives and thank God you didn't let this sacrifice go to waste. When things get tough, the tough get going, that is what being an entrepreneur is all about.

[ewerk]

I'm an entrepreneur and also a health and wellness expert and all I can say is you have to have work life balance otherwise you will burn out right away and your business will suffer. Your business is only going to grow at the rate that you grow and evolve as a person and couple. It's really important to take care of your health and relationships and learn to find a balance otherwise if you're successful at all costs you will lose in the end. Remember that building a business is one of the fastest ways to growing spiritually because you are forced out of your comfort zone everyday and do things that push you to the limits and you need to understand that you should enjoy the journey and not just race to the finish line. Balance and perspective is important to get there steadily.

[JustinElliott]

YE just posted a quote from Sean Parker where he says "Running a start-up is like eating glass. You just start to like the taste of your own blood."

And that is so true. You can get addicted to your own business. But you can also kill yourself. To be successful, you have to put in a lot of work. But at some point, if it hasn't happened and you're sacrificing your happiness it is time to reevaluate I'd say.

[ghostboi]

You should continue

[Mr. Cano]

Beautiful thread thank you guys.

[andyredsox]

Thanks for posting this!

This may also apply to other young couples not yet married.

They have a very good romantic relationship- one that allows each person to grow and have decided to start a business together. One may maintain balance but at some point the other may loose it along the way...

It's one of the resistance, telling you to back out-- but nobody succeeds when this happens.

Both of you really have to sit down and talk about what's important.

Why did you venture in this trade in the first place?

Is business more of value to you than the relationship?

Or can both of you compromise in order to keep both?

Write things down and constantly remind each other the value of your relationship and your business.

[ChrisAplin]

Yes. If that's what you want.

Sacrifice everything. Be willing to lose everything at the chance of gaining much. The more responsibilities you have (kids, mortgage, spouse, pets) the more you have to make sure you are limiting risk.

At the same time realize that you need days off, you need to pay attention to the ones you love. No matter how successful you become the people around you are your greatest achievements.

I work nearly 19 hours a day, however on Friday night I watch a movie with my wife. On Saturday night we have dinner together. During the week I'll spend an hour just watching TV or whatever.

Understand consequences. Some people can't handle the lifestyle. If they can't you'll have to make a tough decision. Some of us are probably meant to be alone in the long run so we can achieve our greatest aspirations.

And most of all, choose wisely with your business. If money is important, make damn sure you do something that will make money. If it's something that is a cause or "changes the world" realize that your dreams could be crushed in a nanosecond and have an exit strategy. Startups fail, some for seemingly no good reason, but most fail because people give up or didn't think it through.