Rate My Pitch

**mrgr33nw3ll** · 07-29-2010 10:20 AM

Hello all,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but here goes...We are creating a commercial to be aired on local TV - 30 seconds. We would like you all to rate our script and give us any advice you might have. Here it is:

Sometimes even the best equipment can breakdown, get attacked by virus', or malfunction when you least expect it.

When you sign up with My Tech Team, you get support and protection around the clock. Whether you have a software issue, or need help installing a new device, you can get help right away.
MyTechTeam technicians are highly trained, and locally based, ready to help you with all your computer needs.

Getting the support and protection you need has never been easier or more affordable.
Get help right now at www dot my tech team dot net!
[Display Web Address, and Phone Number]

**mtnjkwe** · 07-30-2010 02:17 PM

I will say its good, because
1. Your stating the problem :

Sometimes even the best equipment can breakdown, get attacked by virus', or malfunction when you least expect it.

2. Your stating the solution

When you sign up with My Tech Team, you get support and protection around the clock. Whether you have a software issue, or need help installing a new device, you can get help right away.

3. Giving your USP ie why we should take action

MyTechTeam technicians are highly trained, and locally based, ready to help you with all your computer needs.

4. My problem is your call for action. I dont really feel it.

It wouldnt make sense to criticize without offering a suggestion, so heres my suggestion as a call for action :
"Dont loose your computer! Call now!"

**mrgr33nw3ll** · 07-30-2010 06:10 PM

Great observation, THANKS! We will work on the call to action. That's actually something we have been debating.

**mtnjkwe** · 07-30-2010 06:31 PM

Glad I could help! Be sure to update us on how it goes.
Have you thought about social media marketing too?

**mrgr33nw3ll** · 07-30-2010 07:01 PM

We are doing all sorts of marketing at the moment. What do you think of "Visit us online at www dot my tech team dot net today!(or NOW)" for the call to action?