Does hope spring eternal or is there a rational way to explain this? We think both are true. First, there are compelling reasons, such as your own, for finding co-venturers. Second, there are more ways to collaborate than having a partnership, which requires a high level of intimacy, albeit business intimacy. Intimacy does not develop from a contract, however laboriously and carefully drafted.
So our advice in finding a partner is to "date first." Engage in some of the other forms of business collaboration, such as jointly bidding on projects, subcontracting with another firm or principal, engaging in cross-marketing efforts, or making mutual referrals. It's a lot easier to find someone for these more limited risks than to find a full partner.
It may be that these lesser forms of collaborating make you more profitable or they may require more time than you realize in financial gain, but since your ultimate objective is to acquire a partner, you can consider this "dating" as an investment.
While you're engaged in these less-involved forms of collaborating, observe the behavior of the company or person you're working with, listen to their "war stories," particularly about litigation or financial problems, and notice your own emotional reactions to the interactions you have. If all signs are "go," then proceed to proposing.
How do you find people or firms you can collaborate with? You may do it online in listserv groups, on message boards and via their web sites; reading what they write or is written about them in print publications pertinent to your interests. But most people are more comfortable with contacts they make either through referrals by "gatekeepers" and colleagues or through contacts they make at meetings and events. Gatekeepers are often active participants in their professional organizations so attending such functions is a good way to meet them. Since you're located in Fairfield, driving to the Bay Area or Silicon Valley may not be your favorite use of time, but these areas will provide you with the opportunity to make more contacts