[BMSprint]

For me, the Onion is a bit extreme these days. It's lost its lighthearted feel. For instance, it had one article telling us about the "Son Of A Bitch Mouse [that solved] Maze Researchers Spent Months Building" perfectly repeatedly, doing nothing but cussing the 'mouse' out. Funny. Meanwhile, I live in Chester, SC, a population of 6,400... in the middle of an "urban" cluster of 11,000.

We have one newspaper twice a week, and it is a total joke. If you so much as get a $25 seatbelt ticket, you will appear in the Police Beat section. Property transfer records? You bet. Even an article about the local homeless guy who thinks he is psychic and cuts down trees for a living. The nicest word to describe him would... be... hippie.

I live in this city in some hard times. When Springs closed down their factories, that leaves about 15% of our population unemployed! We have a ridiculous dropout rate, an absurd HIV rate... and we need something to get the focus off of the hard times. In addition, anything that can draw money in from outside the city would be brilliant. The online portion of what I am about to tell you is this.

I think Chester will be good with its own Satirical Newspaper. It won't cost much at all to start (could be nothing, but I am worried about trademarks, printing in the long run, etc.), doesn't take too much to run (no need to be "people persons") and ad sales from the web site, again, bring money here.

Because I am asking for money, or at least that's part of what I am asking for, I will explain to you in detail everything required:

1. $40-$80 business license. I don't know because the cost is different based on the business here.
2. Tax IDs. I don't know the cost off the bat but not much, and some of them can be a Social Security number if there is only one owner.
3. Trademark. These are expensive. $500 easily covers it.
4. Most likely, a computer will be needed with Adobe PDF software. This could be about $1,300.
5. It would be lovely to be daily but because I am writing it myself, not possible. It's weekly, and weekly printing costs should be about $500 for 1,000 copies. 1,000 copies are possible to sell pretty easily, but I can't hope to do much better in this city alone---and that is what I am working with. MAYBE I can find a better price, I don't know. I need more info about what money I can bring to the table to the printing companies I would be using.
6. Owners/volunteers will write it themself to start with, so there are no employee costs.
7. $100 a year maybe to run the websites associated with this. I have buttloads of website experience, no sweat for design.

That about covers immediate needs. In other words, it could all come off the ground for at least 3 or 4 issues with $4,000.

Cost recouped? $0.25 per copy might be made, $250 a week. The real money is in advertising. 1,000 circulation means $1.55 per column inch. A business card sized ad would be worth about $9. An ad the size of regular copier paper would be worth $116.

A lot of money? Not likely. But We can make just above operating costs without much risk.

A business plan is ready for you to read and so is a sample issue on request. I'm willing to agree to informal loans, venture capital if the legal side of things can be worked out, or the real problem, advertising. Most new newspapers are started with advertising money. Because of the dire situation of our local economy, most businesses believe the proof is in the pudding---they want to spend their buck on advertising systems that are already in existence. PM me if you care.

But perhaps even more important than the money is the writers help I could use. If crap like the Onion interests you and you think you're a pretty funny person, please write stuff for me. This is not required nor reimbursed, only can help you make a name for yourself, so also please don't plagarize. All original. If that interests you PM me as well.

This is my first idea I am CONFIDENT could work out! (If you have questions about the city itself you can contact me with them too---expansion would be nice later on but only likely in the immediate area.)

[meaghannf]

What sort of topics would you cover in your satirical newspaper? The one concern I might have for your endeavor is how receptive your town would actually be to a satirical newspaper. You said Chester would be good for this kind of paper but I have a couple of concerns. What is the general age of the population? I don't want to stereotype but in general, the younger populations (define as you'd like) are more attracted to this form of news and with an aging population, especially in small towns, you might not have as much of your target market available as you think. Also keep in mind that younger audiences, depending on age, have less disposable income.

Also, what type of content will you write? If you are satirizing local stories, you may encounter another problem - the Onion has the ability to write cutting articles as they never have to see any of the subjects of their critique or those they offend. In a small town, you'd need to be VERY careful about offending anyone because you could make life very difficult for your subjects or yourself.

I don't want to discourage you, I think it's a fun idea, but I would try it as a free flier first to gauge response and then move towards a business if things are successful.

[BMSprint]

I thought of doing so but the simple concern I have is overprinting them with no possible result on copier paper. I am concerned, strange as it may be, about the fact that I have no access to anything but that copier paper and how ridiculous it might look.

Agewise, 38% of people represent people under 24, and 57% are under 44. It's a pretty young population. It's occured to me that the whole thing may be more successful as a free paper with ONLY advertising, but of course that's riskier---the more "secure" money, as much smaller in general as it is most of the time, is of course the head cost. In any case it wouldn't cost more than a quarter. The local paper costs 50 cents and despite having a pretty bad reputation has a circulation of 8,000 or so. Of course, it also has existed in one form or another for 150 years.

Remember, the people we are trying to entertain are younger readers, yes, but our primary customers are advertisers, particularly those who want to reach those younger readers---and there is always someone like that.

As far as dealing with people, the humor is less cruel, or at least what I have already written. More of the humor makes fun of national figures, the situation in Chester, the "sister" town of Great Falls within the County that is way smaller gets more of the butt of the jokes, and we also pick on Charlotte, the biggest city around (50 miles away) as well. In other words, light references to political figures MAYBE... but it's just not as brutal. I think it is a balance we can juggle. For instance, the front page article I wrote for the sample issue is "Cyclone Baseball Player Hits Ball" poking fun of the Chester High Baseball team's... suckiness. Not much cruel to one person or another.