Double your Money Cheap Investment!!!!!

[Sharpstar1]

I had the idea of a lifetime, the idea to start a clothing line. Unfortunately i dont have the funds to start up. Im looking for an Investor willing to invest 5000 Australian Dollars into my Clothing Line "Sharpstar". I know for a fact it will kick off in the industry. Currently i have some preliminary designs drawn up by "Sauce" a reputable Australian Graffiti Artist. Heres his website AEROGRAFFIX
Im targeting the skateboarding market as i love to skateboard and i have people lined up to sponsor. I have no doubt in my mind i can double your investment with personal and market sales. This is a low risk investment as clothing is one of the most demanded items in the world. I have a great marketing plan and image its just a matter of getting someone's help to get me on my feet. This will benefit both of us. Here is my myspace so far Sharpstar Clothing now Available on Myspace (Nick Black) | MySpace.com , i will kick of the website and online sales options when i receive an investment Please consider this offer i know i can double the investment in less than 2 months. The product is already Trademarked
If you would like to invest i can send you all the relevant information in regards to launching Sharpstar

Thankyou Nick Black

[PsiPro]

This is a form letter meant to help you improve your post and thereby improve your response. Please keep in mind that many posts, probably just like this one come through here every day asking for money or business partners. This quick form is for others to fill in and is meant to allow people to identify areas that posts commonly lack. This form is meant mostly to point out the flaws in the post, not to award credit for what is done right. Please don't take it personally.

How to read this:

• [ ] This is not a box I think applies to you
• [x] This is something that I think applies to you.

I think your idea...

• [x] Is good
• [ ] Is bad
• [ ] Not well articulated
• [ ] Is to generic, you need more of a niche market
• [ ] Has been done and hasn't succeeded (Please see post description section)
• [ ] Has been done and worked, so expect competition

Ideas come and go, and do not let anyone discourage you from continuing your idea despite what it said here. However if your idea is not received well it would be foolish to not follow up (civilly please) and ask for suggestions.




I think this post..

• [ ] IS YELLING AT ME.
• [ ] Lacks significant detail
• [ ] Is not selling your idea well
• [x] Is not selling you, as a business partner well
• [x] Is hard to read (spelling errors, grammar, l33t speak)
• [ ] Is asking for a lot of money
• [x] Smells like a Nigerian scam
• [ ] Doesn't specific if your looking for VC, Partner, equity partner

These items are discussed more in a later section. If they are just a quick check box for your reading convenience. Keep in mind everyone who comes through this forum thinks their idea is the next million dollar idea. It may be but you will need to convince the readers.




I think your business proposition...

• [ ] Is missing a business plan
• [ ] Is missing market research (and a plan to do so)
• [x] Is making outrageous claims
• [ ] Is making claims that violate the laws of physics/nature/chemistry/common sense (its been done before)

You need to have a good description of your business in your post. People are more likely to PM you if you have details to let them know your idea is something they would be interested in. Oh and make sure what your claiming is possible because being called out on such a blatant error is embarrassing.




I think this post's comments with regards to you....

• [x] Are non-existent
• [x] Provides no past business experience
• [ ] Provides no past niche experience
• [ ] Provides no indication of being able to meet in real life (mostly important if your asking for large sums of money)
• [x] Provides little to no details about your skills.

If your going to attract a partner selling yourself is as important as selling your idea. Why can we trust you? What do you bring to the table?


Extra Comments:
Use paragraphs please... if it's hard to read it's hard to sell. Additionally you posted the title of the websites but not the URL.

Also doubling my investment in 2 months is quite an outrageous claim and makes it feel like a scam. If you only need 5k and can double it in two months take a secured loan out somewhere, hell even a loan shark could fund you and you would still make money.