Verbal Masturbation

**retiredat21** · 06-05-2007 08:34 AM

I thought this amusing rant may create some debate here at YE

Here are my main 7 reasons why I don’t use a phone for my business:

1) I don’t live in America - therefore it will cost me a minimum of $1 per minute to call you. I could call a sex hotline for less ;-)

2) Poor line quality - my phone line is not great, but when I do long distance calls it is far from perfect. I don’t have the time or the patience to be mis-understanding you. There is nothing more annoying than hearing your own voice, or a 2 second delay.

3) It is not necessary - technology has come a long way. There are still many people who avoid instant messaging, but surely an email is not beyond your abilities? Get with the times!

4) I avoid verbal masturbation - some people love the sound of their own voice. You will often find that these people also love staff meetings. Why spend 45 minutes in a meeting, or 20 minutes on the phone, just to make a simple decision? These people will call for no reason, they will bug you every day, and they will bore you with their life stories.

5) Cut the crap - When you send an email or chat via IM you avoid a lot of the social nonsense that comes with a face-to-face chat or phone call. Hi there, how is the weather? Great thanks, how’s things at your end? Good thanks, I bought a new computer yesterday and blah blah blah.
I don’t want to hear your life story, I don’t have time for social nonsense. All I want to know is the answer to my question, nothing more, nothing less.

6) It saves money - I would hate to see the phone bill of the typical verbal masterbator. 45 minute phone calls to see if a product arrived? Are you kidding me?
I have done complex deals, arranged trips around the world, earned 6 figures per year, done long term ad deals and solved complex and extremely important problems via IM and email. Using the phone can often magnify the problem.

7) It saves me time - If you are capable of typing at a half decent speed, then there is no need to be using the phone so often. Here is something that I hear a lot…

Verbal masturbator: Dean, can I call you tomorrow?

Dean: I prefer IM but sure

Verbal masturbator:Ok, I wil email you 10 mins before I call

Dean: errrr. Why?

If you are going to email me anyway, why not just add an extra paragraph to your email and tell me what your issue is. I can probably have answered it before you have even picked up the phone.

Do you know any verbal masturbators? Could you survive a week without using the phone?

http://streetlessons.com/408-7-reaso...-business.html

**olani** · 06-05-2007 08:49 AM

Great post, but I think its also appliable to IM.

**paul2145r** · 06-05-2007 09:21 AM

Phone conversations are more for yesterday's generation... that and (I hate to be labelled a 'sexist"), women. Think back 10, 12, maybe even 8 years ago. EVERYONE had to use the phone, fax, etc. IM'ing was around, but it was nothing like it is today. Email was available, but very few could afford a home computer. Many older (30+) people prefer using the phone to conduct business. It's more personable, it allows for instant feedback, and It's much harder to say NO face to face or on the phone than it is in an email or text message.

Every woman I have met (except for one of my aunts) likes talking on the phone. Most men do as well, but not to this degree. It, again, allows for instant feedback, is a great way to continue dialog, and allows a person to gauge honesty and other traits based on verbal queues. Email and IM's don't allow you to do this. Personally, I prefer IM and email to conduct business, but when it comes to closer business relationships (partners, bosses, clients, etc), phone calls are (still) a must.

**harrymcwealth** · 06-05-2007 09:30 AM

Phone is still King for seducing customers.

**retiredat21** · 06-05-2007 09:31 AM

yes, selling to customers would be an exception. That said, I know people that make more in one weekend from emailing their email subscribers, than any call center could make in a month.

**cyberturbine** · 06-05-2007 10:01 AM

I think the key to effective use of the phone, or a face to face is in the final closing. All the details can be relayed back and forth via IM, web posts, and email. Nothing beats the grip and grin face to face or a phone call.

**The Stealthy One** · 06-05-2007 10:59 AM

Haha, had a good laugh at that.

**ltressel** · 06-05-2007 11:32 AM

Hi everyone-

I use all media for communication. Email and IM leave too much room for misinterpretations. Phone calls, I agree is a way to gauge the person you're doing business with and vice versa. One must learn to adapt to use all different streams of communication-it's just a professional way of doing business.

Just my two cents-

LT

**obsideo** · 06-05-2007 04:20 PM

Hi everyone-

I use all media for communication. Email and IM leave too much room for misinterpretations. Phone calls, I agree is a way to gauge the person you're doing business with and vice versa. One must learn to adapt to use all different streams of communication-it's just a professional way of doing business.

Just my two cents-

LT

I agree. It also further extends into personal communications. With handwriting there is some detection of what the person is feeling by the way they are writing. With typing, bold, italic and underline are just some of the ways to project emphasis.

Too often does I.M. and email project miscommunication.

Poor writing skills and varying levels of language utilization dilutes the power of typing/writing communication. Taking grammar classes and reading often enforces communication principles. On the contrary, the party or individual you are communicating to may not be on that level of understanding. Just look at the classical text books during the renaissance, the utilization of words was a lot more powerful than today.

"Communication is the war."
Napoleon Bonaparte