Speaking and Conversation Skills

**johnbears** · 08-06-2008 08:41 PM

I need to imporve my speaking and conversation skills. Any of you know of some crash course for imporvement or can you give any tips in what you pay attention to creating a conversation.

**andrewrichardgale** · 08-06-2008 10:16 PM

nike 'just do it'

**Nigami Enterprise** · 08-06-2008 10:58 PM

If you can't "just do it" there are alot of ways to improve, check the net or go to toast master classes the sooner the better.

Here something i just copied for speaking to difficult people.

A person who is able to have conversations with difficult people is considered to have highly developed communication skills. There are so many difficult people out there. What constitutes a difficult person anyway?

If a person has a different background, different values, and different personality than yours then consider that person to be a difficult person. If you want to be able to communicate with difficult people then you should keep some of these pointers in mind.

1. Build bridges, not walls. If you want to talk to a difficult person then you have to fish for the similarities that you have, no matter how small they are. If you keep on bringing up the differences that the two of you have then you are going to build barriers between you. You certainly do not want this to happen. You might end up fighting and debating with this person. This is the last thing that you want to happen. Focus on the similarities.

Do you have similar hair? Do you share the same subject in school? Do you have the same car? What is it that makes the two of you similar? Find it as soon as you can and talk about it.

2. Laughter is the way to go. If you want to make a difficult person loosen up then you might want to try cracking a joke or two. If you can make this person laugh then this person will be less difficult to talk to.

You have to try and find out what kind of humour this difficult person is into. Will this person laugh to knock-knock jokes? Do you think that this person will laugh when you tell an anecdote? Does this person love intellectual humour and intellectual jokes? Always have different genres of jokes under your sleeve so that you can work with different kinds of people.

3. Share a meal. If you want to talk to a difficult person then you should try having a meal together. A difficult person certainly eats. Everyone eats! Sharing a meal is one of the most common cultural practices around the world. No matter what kind of nationality or race you are from, sharing a meal is something almost anyone does.

The only things that you have to worry about are allergies and preferences. Find out the common things that you and the difficult person like to eat and share a meal. Share humanity and share life. Difficult people will simply share their lives with you too.

4. Always maintain your poise. Do not get affected by harsh remarks because sometimes difficult people are really like this. If you want to get through to a difficult person then you should be the one to be more patient and more kind. You are not going to go anywhere if you are just as difficult as the difficult person, right? If you want to get through to a difficult person then you should be leading the conversation. You should be the one that is more poised.

5. You have to be sincere. Do not lie or make up things when you are with a difficult person. There are a lot of difficult people out there that can tell if someone is lying or not. The last thing that you want from a difficult person is being branded as a liar. If people think that you are a liar then they will avoid you. The difficult person will become even more difficult. Always be sincere and do not lie.

Difficult people are everywhere to be found. If you want to talk to difficult people then you certainly have to be skilled with communication. If you want to make sure that you are ready to talk to a difficult person in the near future then you must keep these points in mind. They will certainly improve your communication skills.

**johnbears** · 08-07-2008 05:50 PM

Hey Nigami,

Thanks for the input. I will keep these point in mind when I start training :-)

I understand what you mean with similarites and interests but the problem is always the beginning. How can you find out what the similarities are? Do you start with a compliment and take it from there? Do you ask a personal question? I just do not know how to start without being too personal or too forward.

**Squandered Halfpints** · 08-07-2008 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by johnbears

Hey Nigami,

Thanks for the input. I will keep these point in mind when I start training :-)

I understand what you mean with similarites and interests but the problem is always the beginning. How can you find out what the similarities are? Do you start with a compliment and take it from there? Do you ask a personal question? I just do not know how to start without being too personal or too forward.

I don't think you should worry about getting too personal. Questions such as "what do you do for a living - do you enjoy it - how'd you get into that?" and they should come back with a "how bout you?" Or even the more basic... "where are you from originally? you like it there?"

These are some of the more basic convo. starters and they usually sprout off into something much more interesting - which is usually something you two have in common. You shouldn't feel like your obligated to start a conversation, because it will show. The more comfortable and relaxed you are, the more smoothly the conversation will flow. If you still feel nervous, keep this in mind. NOBODY likes awkward silence or pauses; so most people will try an avoid this by talking about ANYTHING... no matter how dull or boring it may be. This sets the bar for a good convo. way low, so even a small bit of interest from the other party will turn the conversation into a good chat, rather than a boring listless exchange of words.

**biz123** · 08-07-2008 11:22 PM

Originally Posted by johnbears

I need to imporve my speaking and conversation skills. Any of you know of some crash course for imporvement or can you give any tips in what you pay attention to creating a conversation.

It's funny you post this because I just logged in to see whether there were any threads about this topic. I found this club called Toastmasters which I think is what you're looking for. I'm joining this week. The only way to kill any fear is to confront it.

Toastmasters International - Home

**Hooman** · 08-07-2008 11:30 PM

Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It's by far the best book I've ever read on improving communicating/speaking skills. If you have trouble getting out of your "shell" then talk to lots of strangers. I did that a while back myself, and still enjoy talking to new people. I have the belief that you can learn something new from everyone.

**jasaunders** · 08-08-2008 10:16 AM

Practice, practice and more practice. Only once you are heavily involved in getting yourself in front of people and in these situations will you improve. Try going to various networking events, speeches, conferences, and seminars and just practice talking to people you don't know. I'm not sure how old are you are what you do, but go out of your way to volunteer to give presentations or speak in front of groups. You might be terrible at first, but you will gradually improve.

Toastmasters is a very highly recommended way to improve your speaking skills. I know a few people who have attended and really enjoyed it. On top of that, consider reading the book "Never Eat Alone" by Keith Farrazzi. There is a lot of information on small talk, how to open conversations and what to say to people.

**johnbears** · 08-08-2008 10:20 AM

Originally Posted by biz123

It's funny you post this because I just logged in to see whether there were any threads about this topic. I found this club called Toastmasters which I think is what you're looking for. I'm joining this week. The only way to kill any fear is to confront it.

Toastmasters International - Home

I beat you to the punch

I will check Toastmasters out.