Need $95,000 Donation

[paul2145r]

I am looking for someone to give me $95,000 in cash. This is for a 'business investment'. Well, not really. I plan on spending it all on strippers, booze, and a Ducati. You can call it an investment, as I will take everything that I learn from the one-year binge and write a book about the experience. Well, not really.

It's sad to say, but this is essentially what I see when I read all of the "Give Me Money" posts. If you really do have a good business idea, then learn to correctly ask for funds. Below is a good example:

My partners and I are developing an international distribution network for x products. We will be manufacturing the products in x country, and shipping them to distribution points in x country, x country, and Atlantis.

We are looking for a cash influx of $x to handle marketing and advertising efforts in x Region, x Region, and x Region. Our product is a creative adaptation of a product that is already immensely successful. Our variation has already been patented in x Country and x Country, and we are pending approval in the other regions mentioned above.

Profit Distribution is as follows:

6 Months - 10% of Total Initial Investment
12 Months - 50%
18 Months - 80%
24 Months - 120%

Stage 2 Recapitalization will take place at or around the 24 month mark. Investor stocks may then be sold back to the group at a minimum 20% ROI.

We are providing twelve investment blocks of $x each to interested parties. Our Director of Operations will be hosting an Investor's Luncheon on x Day of x Month to go over the concept in its' entirety. This Luncheon is invitation only. Anyone interested in attending should PM me for additional details (Requires signing a NonDisclosure).

Now, it it were your money, who would you consider giving it to? Mr Booze or Mr "Millionaire in three years"?

**This is in response to all of the "Give me Money" posts that have been popping up lately. All of the above-mentioned information is meant as a parody. Unless, of course, you really would give me $95k. Then.. we can talk ;-) **

[zbizman]

I agree with this, buuut hopefully it won't discourage the nonprofit orgs. I've worked with a few and sometimes they barely scrape by thanks to simple donations.

[paul2145r]

Good point. Non-Profits are an entirely different species of animal. Someone collecting money for a legitimate cause will still have to have a good way to approach people for donations. You can't just outright beg for money without letting people know that it is 100% going to a good cause.

Something to Think About:

Would you still call it a Non-Profit if it were run by someone referring to themselves as an Entrepreneur as their sole business venture? ;-)

[byzantium]

I am looking for someone to give me $95,000 in cash. This is for a 'business investment'. Well, not really. I plan on spending it all on strippers, booze, and a Ducati. You can call it an investment, as I will take everything that I learn from the one-year binge and write a book about the experience. Well, not really.

It's sad to say, but this is essentially what I see when I read all of the "Give Me Money" posts. If you really do have a good business idea, then learn to correctly ask for funds. Below is a good example:

(snip)
**This is in response to all of the "Give me Money" posts that have been popping up lately. All of the above-mentioned information is meant as a parody. Unless, of course, you really would give me $95k. Then.. we can talk ;-) **

Anybody old enough to remember the Dilbert cartoons that Scott Adams did during the dot.com boom that made fun of venture capitalists? Wally went looking for a venture capital loan, but he spent it all on himself instead of a business. Then he came up with a few words like "e-commerce" to smooth things over.

OTOH, I was reading in the Wall Street Journal about a bubble in microfinance, the idea that slum dwellers are given $300 and then start a business to repay the money. It turns out that the slum dwellers are spending the money on themselves, on old debts and stuff like TV sets, rather than on a business. They SAY they are starting a business, but they're lying, they just want all that money.

The hedge funds that are pouring money into these shantytowns say it's too difficult and expensive to actually check on whether the people are actually starting a business or not. Already, Muslim imams in India are telling women who are in way over their heads to default. Looked at from THAT perspective, from the idea that people making $1 a day are in debt to the tune of $1,000 thanks to the West, it ceases to be funny.

But the Dilbert perspective is more like what I envision some of these college students asking for money doing. The poor play the lottery, then if they win they throw the money away and end up not only back where they were, but sometimes deeper in debt. Sometimes I wish that real life lotteries were more like the Orwell version, in which the top prizes are a fiction meant to pacify the proles. I always had an Orwellian view of free money, that's why I never buy lotto tickets.

[Gaulkin]

Dream on buddy.

[myfayt]

Yeah I am sick of hearing people ask or beg for donations.

[paul2145r]

Thanks to all for the PM's and emails about the business opportunity I was referring to in my example above. That venture has already been funded, and the opportunity is closed to outside parties. Considering this was a joke post, I was impressed by the feedback and buzz it had generated. This goes to show that the approach you take when approaching others is more important than even the details of your pitch.

If anyone is interested on pointers for constructing a plan for funding, marketing, or expanding your business, feel free to PM me with your contact info. I'll be glad to do what I can to help!

[Gaulkin]

Dont kid yourself, the pitch was mediocre at best.

[paul2145r]

Oh- I very much appreciate your constructive criticism and suggestions for how it should have been made. Your wisdom astounds me.

[apgto]

As i am new to this "I need Funding" game. I am trying to find investers for a product that i want to do a T.V. blitz then move it to national chains. My question is how do i go about finding savay investors and are'nt there marketing companies that produce commercials and get them on the airwaves?

[ZingerIntl]

Paul.... I am glad to see you back. Gaulkins and Myfayt are ruining this forum with there stupid babbling about how to be broke and mad at this forum. I wonder if myfayt feels stupid yet for not actually reading the post. Probably too busy rushing to the next thread to post more pointless closed minded unexperienced crap. And Gaulkins just puts people down. A monkey could contribute more.

[ZingerIntl]

As i am new to this "I need Funding" game. I am trying to find investers for a product that i want to do a T.V. blitz then move it to national chains. My question is how do i go about finding savay investors and are'nt there marketing companies that produce commercials and get them on the airwaves?

Good job. I am happy that you ask a question about how to do something. Not just ask for money. Sooo, I have a lot of experience raising money and you can pm me if you like.

[rayice]

i will think of donation later on

[paul2145r]

Lol @ Zinger- it's sad how many "post # hogs" there are in these forums. They provide nothing of value, and attempt to use their activity in the forum as their only qualifications.

@aptgo - Even with the bad economy, there are still plenty of options available for finding funding. If you are selling a product that is your own design, etc, you can try approaching QVC or the Home Shopping network. The margins aren't as good as direct sales, but the numbers sold on their shows more than make up for it.

If you are wanting to do things yourself, some of the best untapped resources that entrepreneurs ignore are friends, family, and people that you know from other projects/ventures. Ask around, and you may be surprised at the connections they may have. Having a personal recommendation is a great way to get in the door with a potential investor.

Other options include Angel/VC forums, but these are usually full of other people looking for funding, with a couple of actual investors thrown in.

If you have any friends or family in other countries, you can try using that avenue to find international investors.

[Gaulkin]

I provide a valuable slap of reality to every person that gets out of line.