Morality Issues...Breaking from a team

**KeBanaBoy** · 07-12-2007 08:55 PM

There is a general understanding that a couple friends and myself will try a big business venture together (something internet-related we think) when we graduate from college in the next few years. However, I want to do something on my own before then, something that might not require their participation. How do I properly let them know? Should I feel morally obligated to include them in this?

**Hcukit** · 07-12-2007 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by KeBanaBoy

There is a general understanding that a couple friends and myself will try a big business venture together (something internet-related we think) when we graduate from college in the next few years. However, I want to do something on my own before then, something that might not require their participation. How do I properly let them know? Should I feel morally obligated to include them in this?

Why do you need advice on this. Do what you want to do.

**roadtoharvard** · 07-12-2007 09:37 PM

Just talk to them one on one. The are your friends and will get over it if they are upset. Better this happen now than starting the project and crapping out midway.

**rpendery2006** · 07-12-2007 11:00 PM

^^ I agree with that.

**zoobie** · 07-13-2007 12:20 AM

Originally Posted by roadtoharvard

Just talk to them one on one. The are your friends and will get over it if they are upset. Better this happen now than starting the project and crapping out midway.

Very true. All you need is find a good time and explain. Eventually, they will understand.

**radreality** · 07-13-2007 03:56 AM

The only way I can think that it would be an issue is if the business you want to start on your own would be similar to the one you are doing with your friends. If they are completely unrelated, then there shouldn't be any harm.

But like others said, you should just talk to them about it, make sure they are ok with it. They aren't just business partners, they are friends, right?

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**zoobie** · 07-13-2007 03:59 AM

Originally Posted by radreality

The only way I can think that it would be an issue is if the business you want to start on your own would be similar to the one you are doing with your friends. If they are completely unrelated, then there shouldn't be any harm.

But like others said, you should just talk to them about it, make sure they are ok with it. They aren't just business partners, they are friends, right?

Again, I totally agree with this. Nothing personal.

**akula** · 07-13-2007 04:45 AM

Originally Posted by KeBanaBoy

There is a general understanding that a couple friends and myself will try a big business venture together (something internet-related we think) when we graduate from college in the next few years. However, I want to do something on my own before then, something that might not require their participation. How do I properly let them know? Should I feel morally obligated to include them in this?

this is not an issue of morality

this is an issue of power

you must manage the situation where you do not contravene the 48 principles of power

this means that you must conceal your intentions and manipulate your masters (your friends) into encouraging you to "do something on [your own] own".

all this other advice you're being given is wrong because it contravenes law No 1. follow the advice and you will continually fail in your endeavors.

instead, use an array of tricks to implement Laws no 8, 11, 14 and 18

the point: manipulate the situation where your friends give you money and support so you achieve your objective, thinking that doing so is in their best interest.

**Nabeel** · 07-13-2007 05:53 AM

Hi, This post is very informative, however I would like some specific information. If someone can help me then please send me a private message. Best Regards,

**KeBanaBoy** · 07-13-2007 07:50 AM

Aluka that advice is good, as I've read the 48 laws of power so I can check the book again in reference to refresh on what you're saying. And for those who don't think there could be a problem here, the 2 problems I can see arising are:

1) It becomes successful and they question why I didn't bring them along if we're a team, get jealous/upset, and potentially destroys our trust and ability to work as a team later.

2) Time frame issues...what if this ends up being successful, gets dragged out longer than I anticipated and interferes with the time frame of our team's startup that we already agreed (maybe) to do later?

I mean, logically, there should not be a problem. But we all know logic isn't always the best motivator and how emotions can take over if you push the wrong buttons...

**jasaunders** · 07-13-2007 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by akula

this is not an issue of morality

this is an issue of power

you must manage the situation where you do not contravene the 48 principles of power

this means that you must conceal your intentions and manipulate your masters (your friends) into encouraging you to "do something on [your own] own".

all this other advice you're being given is wrong because it contravenes law No 1. follow the advice and you will continually fail in your endeavors.

instead, use an array of tricks to implement Laws no 8, 11, 14 and 18

the point: manipulate the situation where your friends give you money and support so you achieve your objective, thinking that doing so is in their best interest.

This is just one school of thought. Stephen Covey (7 Habits) would suggest otherwise, that the key is to not be manipulative.

**jasaunders** · 07-13-2007 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by KeBanaBoy

1) It becomes successful and they question why I didn't bring them along if we're a team, get jealous/upset, and potentially destroys our trust and ability to work as a team later.

2) Time frame issues...what if this ends up being successful, gets dragged out longer than I anticipated and interferes with the time frame of our team's startup that we already agreed (maybe) to do later?

1) You should probably discuss your plan with them beforehand. What I would do is not go to them and ask for permission, but rather just say "hey, I am starting this new business" in casual conversation. See how they react and you should react accordingly. If they are your friends, they should wish you well and support you. If it destroys your trust for a later venture, then the trust probably wasn't strong enough to begin with to work with them in the future. You don't want partners who are selfish.

2) This is a non-issue. If it becomes successful and drags on, this is going to be the last thing on your mind. Plus, it doesn't sound like you guys even have any plans or ideas yet of what you're going to do, all you have said is "we are going to do something." Your friends hardly have the right to be upset with you if you have another successful venture and have to pass on theirs.

I have seen it all. I have a couple friends who invested $50k to buy up .mobi names when they were first released and one of their previous good friends got upset he wasn't included (he is an internet porn magnate, making quite a good living with his porn sites, and he just assumed he would be included in any internet venture they had).
I have thought through, started, brainstormed, and researched dozens of businesses and ideas with my best friend. We started and sold our first successful business 3 years ago. He is not upset that I started a new venture on my own now and didn't include him. In fact, we still discuss other ventures we are considering, some of which he thought of and wanted to discuss with me, when he very easily could just do them on his own. The point is, we know we are good friends and want to see eachother succeed. Neither of us is selfish to the point where we are going to get mad because we weren't included in the other person's plan.