Quote:
Originally Posted by jasaunders
Having more money doesn't help you provide long-term solutions over temporary solutions. A willingess and desire to help other people are what matters, not how much you have or don't have.
Simply put, it is my belief that in any context, it is selfish to advise someone to take care of themselves before helping others.
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I'm not too sure I agree with this. Let me give you an example - I have a friend who needed a job, and since I know and am on good terms with several area business owners, I found him a job paying $9.50 an hour (hes 19 and the only job he's ever had is McDonalds). After the FIRST day of work, he didn't want to go back because it was 'too hard, and I'm not gonna do mexican work.' I was in complete disbelief. I went out of my way to help my friend out, and he repaid me by making me look like a fool by recommending him for the job (very easy work, working for a realtor on property finishing work, like varnishing cabinents and such).
I would have been better off by spending that time helping myself do something greater, instead of trying to give my friend a handup. That's the case with most people - especially young people - and I'm sure you guys have noticed this, that most people are so unbelievably selfish that they just don't care when someone helps them out. If they wanted something so bad, they'd figure out a way to get it on their own, just like I did. From MANY personal experiences, not just this one occasion, I've found that by helping people, you're often only wasting your time by caring when the other person doesn't - they're just 'going with the flow' and if you're going to give them something they would otherwise have to work for, 'cool.' They lose interest within hours.
What this has taught me is that the time that you spend trying to help people should still be spent, but you should be very exclusive on who spend with. If you're going to give a part of yourself (your time, which you only have so much of), then you need to know the other person is going to appreciate it, and is going to work hard to make sure that you don't look like a fool and he/she doesn't look like a typical adolescent fuck up. A lot of times, the best thing that you can do to help out the typical person is to just be realistic with them: you're not getting anywhere without getting over being lazy and selfish. Achieving/gaining anything in this world is completely dependent on ambition, desire (which is different from ambition), diliegent execution, honest relationships, and realistic outlook on your personal situation.
Anyways, I've never posted on threads in any forum that were posted by someone who was probably just bored, and won't even check back to see if someone responded.
So what I'm saying is don't go out of your way to find people to help. If someone really wants your help they'll find you, and more importantly, they will put some type of
value on what you're offering. Maybe they don't pay you, but it's like a friend who can't do laundry (whatever) who mows your yard in exchange for you doing his/her laundry. If you hear how shitty someone's situation is, and it's just a 'poor me' story, don't feel sorry for them. Those people are where they are because they put themselves there. If someone really wants your help, they will only talk about how the only direction they're going is up, and how they can pay you back for helping them out.
Self Help
