How in Control are You?

**Dealer27** · 10-31-2006 05:43 PM

How in control of your life are you? On a scale from one to ten? Do you find yourself doing what needs to be done or procrastinating? Are you going where you want to be going? 1-10 please What habits would I like to change?

**tekmoney** · 10-31-2006 07:50 PM

I would give myself an average of an 8. It drifts between 7-10 between weeks, depending on what I have to do and how much the work is paying off.

The only habit I would like to get back into is reading for an hour a day. I used to do it religiously but now I just dont have the time.

**akula** · 10-31-2006 11:58 PM

probably 1

the control I have of my life is mostly an illusion

yes, I do end up doing what I want to be doing, but these wants have originated with external parties such as family, collegues, classmates and society in general

all in all, I'm expecting that my environment will have a greater influence on my future direction in life, so what I am trying to do is be a part of a good environment

**sicnarftea** · 11-01-2006 12:01 AM

somewhat in control

**Bestmiler** · 11-01-2006 07:22 PM

it's very hard to be in complete control. you have to be very disciplined and know what you're doing.

i find myself procastinating when i should be doing homework, studying, etc but im getting better at it.

**Dealer27** · 11-01-2006 09:32 PM

Interesting...Brian Tracy said that your association or environment is enough to make or break you...or at least the average human being, but who are we kidding. Akula thanks for your response, I feel it was very genuine and obviously its working for you.

**Sam Barona** · 12-18-2006 06:25 AM

I agree with Akula in as much as control is an illussion. If you own your own business, the illussion is that you're in control. Not true. The world economy is out of your control, new technology introductions are out of your control, changes in consumer trends, political decisions that affect your company/industry, taxation, legislation, problems with supply and demand, etc, are largely outside of your control.

There is no real "control" to be had. In terms of your own mind, again, its the result of how you where brought/dragged up; of your family's expectations of you; of your role models, of your peers, of the commercial messages firing synapses in your brain making you think that you're in control, etc.

I had the priviledge of meeting a Yogi lady (Dadi Janki) who was tested to have one of the best minds in the world; at 90, she still has an outstanding mind, but she is still controlled by her beliefs and those of the religion she is a part of.

The fact that many people struggle and through pure determination and grit succeed only adds to the illussion of control.

I believe that the question is how can we better manage those things we cannot control.

**amith** · 12-18-2006 06:29 AM

4 probably...

slowly becoming disiplined

**akula** · 12-18-2006 07:48 AM

Originally Posted by Sam Barona

I agree with Akula in as much as control is an illussion. If you own your own business, the illussion is that you're in control. Not true. The world economy is out of your control, new technology introductions are out of your control, changes in consumer trends, political decisions that affect your company/industry, taxation, legislation, problems with supply and demand, etc, are largely outside of your control.

There is no real "control" to be had. In terms of your own mind, again, its the result of how you where brought/dragged up; of your family's expectations of you; of your role models, of your peers, of the commercial messages firing synapses in your brain making you think that you're in control, etc.

I had the priviledge of meeting a Yogi lady (Dadi Janki) who was tested to have one of the best minds in the world; at 90, she still has an outstanding mind, but she is still controlled by her beliefs and those of the religion she is a part of.

The fact that many people struggle and through pure determination and grit succeed only adds to the illussion of control.

I believe that the question is how can we better manage those things we cannot control.

Very good points and a worthwhile topic

From my perspective, the reason why western society places so much emphasis on control, is because of predominant liberal values like individualism, self determination and freedom. Everyone instinctively assumes that control is desirable, but why?

The line of thinking is that if you're not in control of your self, then you are controlled by somebody else and therefore you are not free, which is bad because of ecclesiastical cannons as well as utilitarian theory where the freedom to practice individual selfishness is thought to derive maximum value for the society as a whole. From a liberal point of view, somehow, by not being in control - you are detrimental to society.

Now....there are alternative ways of thinking about freedom, individualism and self determination

For those who subscribe to these alternative ways of thinking, control is something that can be analysed from diffrent perspectives. For example, some people believe that the choice of who to control, is secondary to making a choice of who do you want to be controlled by, and why you'd want to be controlled. From a less esoteric point of view, the issue of control is directly proportional to one's power, and in business, pursuant to principles of power, subordination to those that are more powerful at any particular point in time is an important technique for winning future power over others.

In other words, even with liberal thinking, and sharp business practices, it often pays to relinquish control - or at least create the perception that you've relinquished control (without going off on a tangential discussion about metaphysics and when is something actually real)

Anyway, it's a complicated issue that comes down to choices and values. Some people subscribe to liberal thinking and place an emphasis on individual success as the basis of meaning. It's a robust line of thinking. Nevertheless, others place the welfare of a community, or a tribe as something that's more important. Yet again, others consider the value of harmony, and think that being in control is like throwing a spanner into a whole wheel of life, karma and human interdependencies.

**Sam Barona** · 12-18-2006 05:36 PM

There are certain things that we can exercise control over; like how we react to an attack, or any other type of situation; or how we choose to think about a problem or person that we are faced with.

Our control is very limited. In order of making larger changes that reach deep into our environment, we need to focus on management, not control. Control, if you like, being a type of complete power, where as management is more of a set of guidelines that allow us, not to decide on the outcome, but to improve the chances of reaching the outcome we desire.

Thus, in creating companies entrepreneurs cant' exercise total control, but they can manage inter-dependance to reach a goal that is near to the one that was primarily thought of as being achievable.

Personally, I am no where near where I wanted to be at my age, when I was younger, but precisely where I want to be right now. Aspirations change as your life changes and you mature. I started life wanting to be an archeologist, then a vet, then a lawyer, then an entrepreneur and then I fine tuned this one to being a £millionaire by 30 (I achieved this many times over, alas, only on paper), and then to have a large multinational by age 40.

Now I am less focused on nebulous goals like these and more on how I can maximise my companies' profitability, expansion plans, etc. and for the longer term, in developing something that will leave a legacy for my children, and with luck, their children too.

Sam