[usakos]

I love helping all kinds of people, but I dislike when people helping or doing anything for me without me having to compensate them.

For example, right now, we are under more than 20 inches of snow and our community association is supposed to dig us out and clean our driveways, but my nicest neighbor volunteered to help shovel our drive way.

Now I feel indebted to him for the "rest of my life".

What pleasure do you get, if any, in helping other people?

[GuyBBY]

I hear ya UsaKos, sometimes it is tough to get past that feeling of becoming turned off when you have a bad experience from helping someone.

I have had the same situations where no matter what, some will not let you live down the fact that they helped you once, and here you are, a person that goes out of you way whenever you can to answer a question, help someone out with a physical task such as shoveling, or even just lending helpful and resourceful information on a site like this because you feel you are making someone else's life a bit easier or less stressful.

In the case of being the person who likes to help, I think it is the thought, whether realized or subliminal, of knowing you have something someone else needs, and you can be the solution to something. Personally, when I help someone, I find myself doing so because I am excited that I know the answer to their situation and can be the person to get them where they need to be. I think that derives from wanting to prove to yourself that you are able to conquer that task or solve a problem, and thus further cementing your confidence in that topic, practice, whatever. So even if that person doesn't directly give back to you, you feel "thanked" or some sort of "reward" as you just confirmed your ability to utilize knowledge/skills you posses and share them to help others.

That is my take at least. Great post though.

Best

Guy

[usakos]

Exactly!

I always feel fulfilled when I know that I've helped someone in whatever that is, I just find joy and pleasure in doing so, but man, I feel guilty when someone else helps me out. It's such a weird feeling. Now, we have to try to do something nicer for him for doing that for us, and I appreciate him very much for doing so, because now we can drive in and out of our garage, thanks to him.

[GuyBBY]

Yeah I recently had that experience with my start up. One of our members brother-in-law is a lawyer, and a great family friend who has been my family's accountant for years, both helped with the legal and accounting issues. I offered to pay, take them to a few sporting events, offer to pay again...no, they wouldn't have it. Am I complaining, hell no as those are some of the most expensive services associated with starting up...BUT I feel indebted and guilty although they gave a wholesome and sincere wave of fees and did it because they have been such great friends for so long.

I guess it is cyclical though, UsaKos, because for those who go out of their way for us and we feel guilty about not paying them back etc., we make up for when we give of ourselves to others with things we do or know best.

Holy philosophy lesson! Haha.

Best,

Guy

[usakos]

Originally Posted by GuyBBY

I guess it is cyclical though, UsaKos, because for those who go out of our way for us and we feel guilty about not paying them back etc., we make up for when we give of ourselves to others with things we do or know best.

This is so true, I will remember that now from here on.

[ro0bear]

Slightly off topic, I thought I would say about value vs profit. I spent about 6 months developing a piece of software. Now its finished and im selling it I almost feel guilty about making a big profit. It costs very little to produce each unit, but I sell it for around £1000 each, which is almost all profit. I dont sell it for that amount because im ripping them off, the product produces enough value to the consumer for the consumer to feel £1000 is worth the product, and they make much more than £1000 back from the product.

Just the fact that its so easy and cheep to produce, and that im making so much profit, feels sort of wrong, but its just the way business works.

Say I sold the software for £20, and the business I sold it to made £2000 a year from it, would that be fair?

ro0bear

[newsworthy2u]

Thanks to their help, they've made us stand on considerably more solid ground after the last project they completed for us. Thanks Mr. Kent for all your time and input. It really was an honor on all of us. Looking forward to more great news in the future.

P. Daniel

[trey3carson]

OK I know used car salesmen have a really bad rep, but when I wasnt busy with the Marine Corps last year I sold some cars for my buddies dealership (usually tent sales on the weekends) The best deal I ever made was a newly wed couple that bought a jeep from us at a tent sale and I discounted the price as much as possible and cut my commission in half ( not my primary job so I tend to help out people that are nice to me) I got them they car they wanted at a real price they could afford, we talked during and after the deal and kinda became friends, sure i didnt make as much as usual but I felt so good about hepling these friendly people out that it made up for the difference.

[usakos]

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[Ahern & Brucker]

What pleasure do you get, if any, in helping other people?


I'm sure their are psychological to physical benefits... Probably some hormone or enzyme or whatever's are released helping the body and mind do better at what it does... (that's not the scientific version)

I suppose the amount of pleasure (benefit of some kind) that we take is going to be directly proportional to the effort and spirit in which it was given... was it obligatory or spontaneous? probably each have a different value... along with a thousand other factors...

It seems like it is easier to give than it is to receive and most people I know feel this way... maybe...receiving denotes needing help and being "weaker"... giving is a more powerful role...

I don't know, but in any case, giving might be better viewed as our obligation to humanity... It's not a gift we give someone, it is a tax we pay... pay it gladly or pay it with a frown but it's obligatory.

Problem with that is, in this world, their are a lot of "takers" and they will take forever without ever giving back. So, it becomes important to be prudent who you pay your tax to...

that is something I think we get to control and decide on... (help this guy because I can, help him because I can get something in return...karma, references whatever) help him because it's the right thing to do or help him because your the guy who drew the short straw and theirs nobody else around...

Anyway, it feels good to do good things regardless of your reasons

and it feels bad to take or be in the position of need

[ron komorowski]

DON'T FEEL GUILTY TAKING!!!! I had lots of people help me when I started, for free. Most of these people had situations arise after where they needed a hand and I was there first. That becomes a wonderful situation and creates a bond. You repaid your debt for a favor. When this happens so many special things develop included special trust and friendship that only comes from this type of experience.

Ya know, I'm going to be a billionaire form my invention, not even counting the line of products coming out. I never think about it or care. How much does a drink and some friends cost? That's what matters to me. But helping people; my device helps people around the world lift and pull objects. It works on every object possible.

I like to think that I have lent a hand to every user when they pick up that box etc. I feel like I am on the other side. EMS, FD's,hospitals,military, rescue operations are using. I know lives will be saved retrieving victims faster. Handicapped and severely injured are being helped, some injured wil get a chance to heal.

Can you imagine the feeling I have in my heart from that? How could I think of money? My reward is helping these people....me contributing something of importance. All I care about now is helping more and more to the fullest potential.

Now, listen close, because all I care about is truly helping, that is why there is no doubt I will be a billionaire....and as far as accepting help, magazine editors bent over backwards for me. I owe them. All those that helped me for nothing...well they are my special friends and when the big party comes...they will be there with me.

Very important tip I am offering here.
In case you want to see what I am talking about Handi Straps Lifting System Home

Ron
Inventor of Handi-Straps