Anti-Entrepreneur Girlfriend

[EddytheBlock]

Hey all,

I've got a real problem going on in my love life. I've been with my girlfriend in a long distance relationship for about 3 years. We met when I was on active duty in the Marines. It's been about a year since I got discharged and since then have come to assure myself that I love the idea of own my own business. So much so I started one with my best friend at the college I am currently attending about 6 months ago. I've done nothing but learn during this entire experience and it has been pretty fun. We're making money and we're in the black! I do it part time though so we're not bringing in as money as we could. I want to move out to be with my girlfriend soon to finally get our life started but she is very threatened by this "new" me. It seems the structured lifestyle I had when we met made her think I was not a "wishywashy" entrepreneur with a bunch of vague ideas. She argues that the business I'm working on part-time doesn't make enough money to support me so it's not credible to say "I'm a business owner." She is a nurse and argues heavily that I should just get a job and when I "have enough money" then maybe I can start a business. Sure, I could go be a cop (for example) and do great at it. I just don't want to give up my dream. How do I explain the benefits of being an entrepreneur to someone who thinks it is so dangerous and thinks it is just plain stupid.

[Nordstrom]

Basically you cannot let her decide whether or not you should go for your dreams. The greatest thing you can ever achieve in your life is your dreams. There will come other girls, but not other dreams. "I am in love blabla" yeah, but realise you will fall in love again. No matter how special she is she is not special when put amongst 3 billion others. Your dreams are priority number 1, your girlfriend is priority number 2. If your girlfriend does not want to see you happy and accomplishing your dreams, she is simply not a girlfriend - just some random girl you "feel you share something with".

Keep on working with your own visions, if she cannot accept it - she is not for you. Good luck with your ad"venture"

[Jenie0109]

if you allow her to decide in everything you do, you also destroyed your dreams.. Love the job and happy doing that job, thats the way to achieved the success. If she really loves you, shell know whats the best for you

[chickenjoe]

Her logic is simple and her way of thinking is not uncommon. If you want to keep her around, then you need to show her that you can provide her a new lifestyle with your business.

Once you've got some money coming in from your business. You need to reward her with your hard earned money by taking her out to dinner. You can talk all you want about your dreams, but she wants to see the pay-dirt.

She also has a misconception of entrepreneurs. She probably believes that you need like 100k to start a business. Educate the young lady about entrepreneurship. She has no clue, except from stories from "like minded" people who tell stories of how their friends failed and how no one like them can get rich. That's the normal people for ya.

You got to take her viewpoint and see how she sees it. Your not making much right now and with the media spewing how there is no money and the economy is crap. She's scared for your sake. She just wants to make sure that you have something "steady" before putting everything in a business.

Now put in work and show her that you can do it. Then shower her with dollars falling from the ceiling.

Peace.

[ejansse2]

For some the idea of "creating your own wealth" is foreign. I come from a historically blue-collar family and when I left an office job to start my own student marketing company I got some flak from my family, and even some of my friends.

Entrepreneurship can be lonely at times, but if you never take the chance you'll always wonder "what if". For some, when they don't see cash coming in from a new venture immediately they think its a waste of time, but entrepreneurs persevere. Maybe this venture could be done alongside another part-time job. I ran my first business "on the side" while still working another job which helped pay the bills in the beginning. The discipline that you learn, and the time-management skills that you have to adopt when starting a company while working on the side to pay the bills are invaluable.

[BusinessAdviser]

You're not compatible. Move on.

[justy540]

Yep,
My girlfriend didn't love when I decided to quit my job, but she supports me in it. I would resent her forever if I didn't get the chance.

[paul2145r]

I understand where you're coming from. My wife was a bit hesitant wen I got started down this path. You also have to understand her point of view- it's been shown over and over that women think differently from men. She is looking at you as the breadwinner, and it makes her question her own judgment that she pick a guy that may not turn into anything worthwhile.

Then again, she may have just had a thing for military guys, lol.

My wife has grown to understand that this isn't a passing thing. I've done the 9-5, and was miserable. I still work under the umbrella of a large corporation, but it's not a traditional "go in to work for 8 hours" type of job, so I have all of the freedom I need to work on my own ventures. Try to make a compromise with her- bring in a stable paycheck for a year or so while you work on getting your own ideas off to a good start, or find an investor willing to put some money down for whatever it is you're wanting to do. Seeing someone successful willing to trust you will help change her outlook fairly quickly.

I would never tell someone that I don't know to leave the person they're with, or even consider that they're not right together. I have had so many ppl I thought I was close to telling myself and my wife that we would never make it getting married young, etc. But, we celebrated our 3 year anniversary this past winter, have owned our home for 2 1/2 years, and have been able to vacation in Miami, Vegas, and other hotspots.

My last bit of advice- sit down with he and have a heart to heart. Let her know that this isn't just a passing fancy. This is a part of you, and that getting rid of it will get rid of a big part of the person that she has come to love. If she can't understand, or refuses to trust your judgment, then go from there. Something tells me, though, that once you are completely candid and honest with her, she'll look at you with a new respect.

[Dmoore323]

Show her succcess bro, then she'll change your her mind. If you love her a lot use that to motivate you.

[flnazrael]

Why do you want to be with a woman that nags and bitches about you having some ambition, instead of wanting to work a shitty 8-5 job for a fixed paycheck for the rest of your life.

Be a man. Give her an ultimatum - she supports you, or you walk. It sounds like she loved something about you, and not "you" yourself.

[justy540]

I'm not saying you should leave her, but it's important to consider that being an entrepreneur in a relationship requires the support of both parties. There may well be times of economic hardship, and there will certainly be times when you're working 60,70, 100 hours a week, and without the understanding of your partner, that could be really rough.

[Gene]

See if you can get her to understand your point of view, if not, then say adios and move on.

[justy540]

Also, it sounds like you two are just starting out your lives together (if it's that serious). what brought my fiance around was that I explained that this was a unique time that I was able to try this. We don't have a mortgage or kids and if I end up flat broke I'll go get a job <shudder>. But down the road I can't just drop out and persue somehting like this full steam. She agreed and has been very supportive since.

[byzantium]

She's a nurse? Major nurturing type. Born worrier. She sees you not really as a bf but as a patient who needs tending. She's the type who will make herself revolve around treating you like a king to make up for her own insecurities. The good news is that she's only a gf, and not a wife, and you don't have kids with her.

I have struggled to get out from under my mom, who's that type of smothering nurturer. She worries when I drive 50 miles. She can't comprehend that I can do things for myself. It's even worse that I'm disabled. She wants to take care of me. She doesn't want me to be my own person.

IMO that type of personality is incompatible with being an entrepreneur. I'm not gonna order you to break up, but you do need to think about whether you need somebody sitting at home worrying about you while you're conquering the business world. That's hardly an equal partnership.

[horsenaround]

The Good News!

If you don't succeed... you can blame it on her.


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