Afraid to tell my friends and family about my new business

**milkandhoney** · 08-17-2009 05:44 PM

Hi there,
I have been lurking around for a little bit and finally registered. I am a 24 year old woman who has recently decided to start my own business. I've made a business plan, a website and have my ads ready to go. All I really need to do is register a DBA and get a business phone number. Since it is a service business, I don't really need a lot of money to get this thing off the ground. The problem is, I know that word of mouth is KEY in a service business, yet I'm afraid to tell my friends and family who I'm sure know people could use my business.

A little backstory... I've never been able hold down a job. The longest I've ever had a job was 9 months and I've currently been unemployed for the past 3 years. I suffer from extreme social anxiety which is why I have not been able to have a typical job. I have been going to college for the past 6 years and will be graduating with a BA. I'm not lazy. I'm extremely hard working yet it doesn't come off that way because I am especially anxious around people with authority. When someone tells me what to do, I tend to have a panic attack and cannot carry out the task. I have done fine with customers in the past, but it is always the boss or manager that lead me to quit.

I know that some people may question this and wonder how I will ever be a business owner under these circumstances... ButI KNOW that even with this social anxiety I will be able to do my job with this specific service business. When it is up to me to decide what to do and make my own decisions, I have no problems. (I actually administrate a forum of 2000 people with 5 staff under me). I feel like I have no other choice but to start this business and don't know how I will be able to survive financially otherwise.

I guess I'm afraid to tell my family and friends because I'm afraid of failure. Because I feel like if I fail at this I have nothing else. This is the first thing I can picture myself doing and succeeding at which makes me very excited. But I've never been so terrified either.

Thanks for listening.

**crayonberry** · 08-17-2009 06:03 PM

It seems like you have put a lot of thought into this. You obviously know the repercussions if it fails. I would say do it. If you already have a business plan, and you say that you don't really have many options, I would absolutely pursue your dream. If your family supports you, that's great, but if not, you should be motivated to prove them wrong. Very best of luck to you.

**paul2145r** · 08-17-2009 06:12 PM

I wouldn't really refer to it as 'social anxiety'. I think what you have is a stronger-than average case of the entrepreneurial spirit, lol. Think about it- you are motivated and independent, and don't like relying on someone else's definition of success. Overall, I think that you're headed in the right direction.

I will only caution you with one thing- many people think that being on your own making money is easier than holding a job. It's not-there is pressure from every angle imaginable. The great thing about it is that YOU get to set the company policy, the lunch schedule, meetings, etc. (Even if you're the only one in your company, it's still fun to have a company outing!).

At this point, you're already much further ahead than 75% of the people calling themselves entrepreneurs. You've developed a business plan and have put time into thinking about marketing , advertising, etc. Just follow it through, take it one day at a time, and don't forget to have fun with it.

Good luck!

**Iamnotsatisfied** · 08-17-2009 06:47 PM

Seems like you're under a lot of strain. I suggest you tell your close friends and family members you get along with well the situation. Believe it or not but support from your family and friends is essential if you want t start out on your own. The load will be huge once you get started if you don't have people you can lean on you might fall.

Some people get motivated by the "I want them prove them wrong" factor... but that only works with a few of us. Use the support from your family and friends instead to push you forward.

**Mega B** · 08-17-2009 07:00 PM

I really hope you have made the right move on this one i admire the way you admit you do have a problem with anxiety and i guess only time will tell if it works out for you.I would say give it your best shot and good luck.

**DPayne** · 08-17-2009 09:35 PM

At the end of the day, you have got to do what is best for you, not your family, friends, or anyone else.

**StealYourDreams** · 08-17-2009 10:10 PM

First of all good luck with your business. Second, if you have the type of anxieties (sp?) that you describe I would strongly consider getting medication. There's no reason to go through life like that.

**ajd** · 08-17-2009 10:32 PM

Go for it, most definitely. I think with a little bit of success will come the confidence to tell your friends and family. Being an entrepreneur could be the perfect thing to help you with your anxiety. Good luck!

**BusinessAdviser** · 08-17-2009 10:40 PM

You have to have a lot of confidence to be an entrepreneur. You can't be afraid. You have to take an unusually large risk for an unusually large reward. I wish you the best of luck, and the greatest thing you could do to get over this hindering "social anxiety" issue is to tell your family, move on.

**milkandhoney** · 08-17-2009 11:47 PM

Thank you for all the kind words. I really do appreciate it!

I have tried a number of different things including medication and counseling to help me with my anxiety but it is a slow process. Unfortunately in December when I graduate I won't have health insurance any longer and obviously will not be able to afford private health insurance until can make some money. My school doesn't offer discount health or counseling services for alumni... I am trying to get this business going within the next 4 months so that I can continue to help myself.

All my parents want me to do is just get a decent paying job but I havn't been able to do that. I WISH I could work a normal job just like everyone else. They basically paid for all of my education and have continued to let me live with them because they want me to have a good life. I feel like I just continually disapoint them, yet they still stick by me. Even after all this and everything theyve done for me, I still can't talk to them...that's how debilitating this is for me. They might not like the idea of me trying to open a business but they will support me no matter what. I know this yet I'm still afraid to even bring it up with them.

I'm going to try though... I'm going completely clean out my all my childhood crap in my bedroom and set up a home office. And then I'll tell them. I'll try to tell my friends in the mean time too. I came sooooo close to telling one of my friends about it tonight but couldn't get it out of my mouth. I'm gonna try, try and try again until they all know all about it.

I'll keep you all posted on my progress. Thanks again.

**axeman236** · 08-18-2009 12:02 AM

Originally Posted by milkandhoney

Thank you for all the kind words. I really do appreciate it!

I have tried a number of different things including medication and counseling to help me with my anxiety but it is a slow process. Unfortunately in December when I graduate I won't have health insurance any longer and obviously will not be able to afford private health insurance until can make some money. My school doesn't offer discount health or counseling services for alumni... I am trying to get this business going within the next 4 months so that I can continue to help myself.

All my parents want me to do is just get a decent paying job but I havn't been able to do that. I WISH I could work a normal job just like everyone else. They basically paid for all of my education and have continued to let me live with them because they want me to have a good life. I feel like I just continually disapoint them, yet they still stick by me. Even after all this and everything theyve done for me, I still can't talk to them...that's how debilitating this is for me. They might not like the idea of me trying to open a business but they will support me no matter what. I know this yet I'm still afraid to even bring it up with them.

I'm going to try though... I'm going completely clean out my all my childhood crap in my bedroom and set up a home office. And then I'll tell them. I'll try to tell my friends in the mean time too. I came sooooo close to telling one of my friends about it tonight but couldn't get it out of my mouth. I'm gonna try, try and try again until they all know all about it.

I'll keep you all posted on my progress. Thanks again.

I came clean to my parents about a lie I was living for 14 months. Especially up until the last few days, I kept on thinking over and over again how although I knew they would always love me, the relationship would never be the same... and I can tell in the aftermath that its different. It's not bad, and we still laugh, hug, etc... but you just have that undertone that its not the same.

Take it from my experience... the longer you wait on the lie, the more emotional guilt you will build up. I tried really hard at the end to come up with a way out of my situation without having to tell anyone. But it just failed epically.

Ironically, now I believe i have the business idea that if I had only had a few months ago, could have done just that!

Maybe its karma, God, I don't know. But I'm still in debt, and I still have collection calls. I'm sitting on an idea, but I lack any leverage at all to stand me up. So thats why I"m looking for help financially and with php coders and designers etc...

I am the brains, now I need the arms, legs, etc...

Hope this helps. I PM'ed you by the way.

**rpermana** · 08-18-2009 01:17 AM

you got us as friends here... talk to us when you need support or help

**inle** · 08-18-2009 05:06 AM

what is your business about????
maybe you could list down all the good things and tell people about it????

**ernest1918** · 08-18-2009 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by inle

what is your business about????
maybe you could list down all the good things and tell people about it????

I agree you could possibly list out the positive of your business. Find out or script ways of telling your friends and in general other people of your service. By listing out your services it gives you an outline that you can work on to express to possible leads what you do, and be able to back it up with more details...

**Gatecrasher** · 08-18-2009 02:58 PM

Just my 0.02 cents...

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” - Sven Goran Eriksson

“Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something.” - Frederick Smith

“There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.” - Tom Krause

“Success builds character, failure reveals it” - Dave Checkett

“Try and fail, but don't fail to try.” - Stephen Kaggwa

“I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong” - Benjamin Franklin