This post is written by Guest Blogger Elijah Young.
I knew it was wrong the first time I heard it. Social media expert So-and-so says, “Social media is bringing everyone together; the key to success is to be amicable, social, friendly”. On the surface, I guess it makes sense. You don’t go to someone’s house and tell them that their baby is ugly…especially if you want to make friends at that party. But something still didn’t sit right with me. What in the world could it be? Oh, yeah, that’s it:
I’m kind of an a**hole.
See, I have hard edges; and those hard edges don’t always align with society’s PC box, online or offline. Now to make things even worse, according to some pundits, I’m destined to fail. Well, I can deal with that, but I’m not worried about myself. I’m worried about the thousands of business owners who may have a similar disposition, who now post inspirational quotes on Twitter (That’s how you get re-tweeted!), or add useless blurbs of garbage on Facebook posts of people they hate (Its engagement!) because that’s what the social media experts tell them that they should do to be successful online.
They’re lying to you. Plain and simple.
Why? Well, contrary to popular belief, being a jerk isn’t a negative in the Digital Age. In fact, having hard edges around your beliefs and ideas is a positive right now. Think about it. What happens when you’re in a crowded place and someone knocks something over, breaks a glass, or makes a loud noise? Plain and simple…
They get noticed.
If you’re familiar with the Bell Curve, you’ll know that it has two low ends, and a fat hump in the middle. As an entrepreneur, you’re already on one of the ends because you take more risks than the average man. But many entrepreneurs force themselves back into the fat part of the bell curve by curbing the hard edges of their personalities to blend in with a more “friendly” or acceptable ideology of business.
Looking at media, it’s easy to see who gets the attention. If you’re the best, like an all-star basketball player, a world-famous championship golfer, or a high-grossing actress, you’ll get media. People want to see the best of the best, or the higher part of the bell curve.
On the other hand, when there is a disaster, you see the worst of the worst. On your local news, you hear about the worst things that have happened in your particular city that day, and if you’re an athlete or an actor, going broke will get you on the news for sure. Why? Because even though we like to see the best of things and get the most positive news…
We REALLY want to see the negative perspective.
All of that is fine, but what’s the point? Jerks are the best at one thing more than any other group. They polarize people, like most folks only dream of.
Jerks have hard edges. When they like something, they like it; when they dislike something, they dislike it – and they say it right away. It your baby is ugly, they say it. If your car stinks, they say it. If you look fat in that dress…well, you get the idea. The point is that jerks have clear beliefs, and clear edges that make it very easy for people to decide if they want to be involved with that person.
If not, they make a quick decision to walk away.
But the magic really happens if they decide to stay. Because they become more than just a run-of-the-mill friend – they become an advocate. Being friends with a jerk isn’t a part-time job. The nature of their demeanor requires you to be a fighting friend; someone who supports their actions, which you usually believe in.
This is the lesson to take away for small business owners.
Keep your hard edges. Tell someone that their baby is ugly, if that’s the real you. Only do whatever you really believe. Sure you’ll turn a few people off, that’s a given. But what you’ll find is that those who you attract are willing to go to war for you, unlike those lukewarm “friends” that you keep around because you’re too bland to make a decision on.
Am I advocating being a jerk? Only if that’s really your personality. Mostly, I’m advocating being an individual. Too often entrepreneurs with hard edges try to smooth themselves out to fit into society’s box, whether that society is in the real world, or on a platform like Twitter. The question comes down to this: Which group would you rather have behind you? A group of cordial friends, who always say please and thank you; and have connected with you because you’re just about as nice as everyone else? Or, a group of polarized, brand-raving lunatics who identify with you and your hard edges and are willing to yell, claw, and scream at anyone who challenges you or your brand?
Don’t believe me? Go tell an Apple lover that their Mac sucks. Let me know how that works out…
Was there a time that you had to shave down your “hard edges” to fit into a business situation? Trade stories in the comments below!
Elijah R. Young is a serial entrepreneur currently living in Columbus, OH. Elijah is the founder of Young University, an entrepreneurial institute teaching aspiring business owners the specific steps to take from the time they have a business idea, to the grand opening of the new company. He has started, or been a part of 16 different startup companies since 2003, and teaches entrepreneurship to teens in the Columbus area in his Youth University Summer Program. View his full profile here.











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WOW!! This is well written and oh so true! I guess I’m an a$$ hole, jerk, whatever. I stick to who I am. Some get offended but those who know me well appreciate my genuine ways. I may not win them all but the ones I win are lifers! Great post!
Thanks for the comment, appreciate you reading the article. Everyone has something to stand for that makes them a “jerk” on that subject.
I appreciate the feedback
Elijah
I definitely agree with staying true to your principles instead of trying to please everyone by being wishy-washy. However, you speak in black & white terms; the world is full of shades of gray.
Jerks often project an over-elevated opinion of themselves in order to cover up an underlying inferiority complex that they may not even admit to themselves. Part of the game is to steadfastly refuse to change their stance, even though they may be wrong. This isn’t admirable; it’s the mark of a fool. Unless exceptionally lucky, fools fail.
Yes, there are lots of insecurities hidden behind a facade of bravado.
That said, there is also a lot to learn from alpha “jerk” types – ie. unbridled confidence is a strong leadership trait, and many people love being followers. And even if its a thinly disguised public performance, it serves the old ‘fake it til you make it’ maxim.
The real skills lie in striking a balance between the malleable, adaptable, socially competent you and the strong-headed arrogant a**hole in you. Diplomacy is the science of exactly that: duplo (two) fascia (face).
Wow R Green you put that in a nice PC box. As for me at work I am known as the berater yes I know that is not a real word, but if you do stupid shi% I am going to let you know I cut nobody any slack and everyone at the office has elevated each others berate game. Sounds bad I know however we are lean strong produce more with less than other offices in the company have a tighter bond and mass respect from our affiliates. Most people of course comment wow I don’t know how you can work there. It’s simple if you are just in the safe zone we will eat you alive get on the edge speak your mind and if you toss some trash you better be able to back it up with fact, we don’t put up with BULL. So I applaud this article it show true leadership, remember lead follow or get out of my way, Mr PC you follow………
This is a very great article I think you Hit the nail on the head some people are Jerks this is what they want people to see and just walk away but the ones who want to follow don’t really know how to expand there Horizons Oh Well. This Jerk stands for helping other change there miserable future for the better
@R Green I know the world is full of shades of grey, but there are causes, and ideals that you have a “black and white” perspective on. Put those beliefs out there. It’s very easy to be grey and PC, but all you do is blend in. Show your hard edges to differentiate yourself. I know alot of “jerks” have traits that you wouldn’t want to duplicate, but they are very good at standing out, something every small business ultimately wants. Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it.
@Javier – That balance is sooo key. Thank your for expressing that. Too far to one side or the other either makes you blend in, or push away your fans too! I appreciate the comment, thank you Javier.
@Ken – Nice edges! I always point back to the book, “Good To Great” when they talk about companies failing because there are too many that are afraid to speak out against the “norm”. If your way is not only working, but making your company better, I applaud you! Thanks for commenting, it really means alot to me.
@Shawn – Thanks for your comment. Individuals are always attracted to what’s different or unique, then they copy it. Trendsetting is the way to go. Thank you for your comment.
Elijah
@ElijahRYoung
Agreed. Too much of the “don’t judge me” mentality out there IMO. I respect strong opinions when they’re honestly presented.
Go ahead and call it PC, Ken. But calling it like it is, as you would wont me to do, you have a reading comprehension problem and are prone to jumping to conclusions.
Lean, tight teams are great. I’ve been in them myself. It takes more than that to be successful.
Great Article Elijah….I fall on the side of Javier with having to balance being blunt, direct, and opinionated, with just being a jerk just to tell everybody that is how you are. No one is nice all the time and in certain situations being a jerk is warranted. I like hearing the different perspective in this article as it is relieving to read an article that is not “cookie cutter”