Business and self-help gurus spend a lot of time advising people on how to achieve success. Yet “success” is not always readily understood. One person’s definition of success can differ greatly from another’s, such that someone else’s success advice might not fully apply to you. Without knowing what you believe success to be, it’s easy to get sidetracked following the advice of those with different or even opposite beliefs. If you define success as a balanced life of family, health and finances, for instance, the advice of someone who is unreservedly all about making money will not be of much help.
Those unsure of how to define what success means to them are encouraged to consider the following.
What Are Your Core Values?
No one can truly define success for themselves without first knowing what their core values are. In essence, your core values encapsulate in few words or sentences what you are all about. Popular men’s website, ArtOfManliness.com, describes the importance of knowing your core values thusly:
“When you don’t know or you haven’t clearly defined your values, you end up drifting along in life. Instead of basing your decisions on an internal compass, you make choices based on circumstances and social pressures. You end up trying to fulfill other people’s expectations instead of your own.”
AOM goes on to list about two dozen possible core values you could build your life around, including education, balance, fun, self-reliance, love, wisdom, health and integrity. Core values are just as important to women as they are to men. Without them, it’s easy to find yourself inadvertently chasing someone else’s dreams because they “sound cool” or seem interesting. True success, however, is that which will bring you lasting happiness and satisfaction. Thus, before you can map out what success means to you, it will be necessary to decide what your core values in life are.
When Do You Feel Most Fulfilled?
A lot of people simply pursue things they believe will impress others or make them envious. Whatever elevates their stature in the eyes of other people, they believe, is “success.” In fact, this is not the ideal way to define success for yourself. Remember that true success is that which will make you happy. Therefore, as counter-intuitive as it might sound, you need to focus more on your own appreciation of different life choices than on how others will react to them.
We’re often told, for instance, that the whole point of going to college is getting a degree in a high-paying field. Yet there is no rule of life stating that you must do that. If you love philosophy or music and are willing to accept a lower salary in order to do those things, there is nothing wrong with doing that. On the other hand, perhaps you truly are enthusiastic about high-paying careers like business, law or medicine. In this case, it just so happens that what fulfills you is also something that causes others to take notice. What matters, though, is always whether you truthfully like the path you are on.
Try to reflect on those times in your life when you felt most happy and fulfilled. Chances are, the ability to experience moments like these as often as possible is what success means to you.
Take The “Typical Day Test”
Admittedly, many of us have trouble untangling our own definition of success from those of other people. A test of some kind is needed in order to be certain. Fortunately, such a test is readily available and can be used by anyone who is unsure of what success means to them. In his article How to Choose a Career, writer Alex Epstein explains the “typical day test” as the final step of validating your career choice:
“Write down, in as much detail as possible, what an average day in your career will be like. What type of work you will be doing, what your coworkers will be like, how much relaxation time you will you have, how much time you will have with your spouse, your friends, what type of house or apartment you will be living in, and anything else relevant to your quality of life that you can think of. This will serve the purpose of making your future career as real to you as possible.”
The typical day test applies to success in general and should not be limited to just career choice. Apply it to whatever you currently believe success to be. Imagine for a moment that all the obstacles you face have been overcome and that success as you define it has been fully achieved. Next, ask yourself whether and how much happier you would actually be. If your vision of success was largely based on money, you might be disappointed. A Princeton University study found that high-income people are “barely happier than others in moment-to-moment experience, tend to be more tense and do not spend their time in particularly enjoyable activities.” In any case, strive for a definition of success that shows you being genuinely happy when put to the typical day test.
The Takeaway
The key to defining success for yourself is to be realistic about what in life will actually satisfy you. Instead of getting caught up in the opinions of others, look inward. Choose a path that you will be happy about and proud of whether anyone else is or not. This way, achieving your goals will feel like success instead of a hollow substitute for what you really wanted.
About the Author: Dan Wesley is the CEO of Credit Loan. Creditloan.com provides the help you need with any consumer finance issue. From auto loans to payday loans, there are so many articles for you to choose from. If it’s a free credit report you are after, this is the place to be.
